my first CNY without grandma
Just a few days before CNY, dad was admitted to hospital, stomach ache he claimed. Our CNY plan to visit my foster family at Weston would have to be cancelled to make way for dad to rest and recover from his minor operation. Just a week before CNY, mum had a car accident, harmless but shocking. She has been restless for a few days, foreseeing some unfortunate events to happen. Most of all, she didn’t feel like celebrating CNY at all, because it’s our first CNY without grandma. It has been almost four months after she left us.
CNY this year hasn’t been an anticipation and excitement for me either. Nevertheless, we celebrated it humbly with simplicity. On the 29th day before CNY, mum and I did some spring cleaning all around the house. It wasn’t that bad after all even though only the two of us going up and down. That night, we had fried egg and plain vegetables for dinner. On the 30th day before CNY, we went to an uncle’s house and had our reunion dinner there. I had migraine that night and flu attacked. Nevertheless, I felt the inner joy of gathering together with our relatives.
However, on the 1st day of CNY in the early morn, mum and dad had a slight quarrel, and it ended up with mum staying at home, not following us to the church for CNY service. I fell in despair. I don’t know what else to do, and where is the love? Yet again, nevertheless, that night we went to an auntie’s house to have another dinner together. Good thing I’m not having my migraine anymore. When it came to 2nd day of CNY, it is now our turn to be the host and serve all the relatives for another dinner together. It turned out just as great. Mum and I felt the tiredness but again, there is joy in the heart for being able to gather around with our relatives.
Seems to be the end of the story? No, a whole lot chapter awaits and it’s only the beginning of it. On that night, I finally got attacked by the grievances of my dear. I foresee it to happen but not as fast. I’ve tried and I’ve been avoiding, but it happened at last. My family again, is taking over my life and holding me back to pursue the dream of my life in finding my own happiness. There’s nothing I can do in helping to ease my pain but cry. It hurts, it really does. I’m helpless (but perhaps, ignorance is bliss). But that very incident on the 2nd night of CNY eventually turned into an eye opener and a great start for many, many “brainstorming” sessions for both of us. Instead of putting blame on whose fault is it, we had peaceful heart-to-heart talks. And with the guidance of Him from up above, we continue to walk slowly, taking one step at a time crossing the bridge, towards the other end of it. We are now seeking for joy in our hearts and looking forward for more beautiful colours in our adventures.
*feLy once again feel the peace in her heart ever since the departure of her beloved grandma* Perhaps, it was my grandma all along, going through these few days of CNY with me, to bring back that peace that she had given me about four months ago. I thank You Lord for all that is good and bad. And for my dear; yesterday, today, and forever will be.
