feLy’s

When I attend lectures for Entrepreneurship, I feel like venturing my own business. When I attend lectures for Human Capital, I feel like being a human resource officer, developing people, allocating the right people to the right task, sound so professional. But in the end, what will become of me? Oh, that sentence doesn’t sound right. Haha. Anyway, that is not my point.

Many things had happened lately and things weren’t in the right track. Issues over issues pulled me even deeper into miseries, I just do not know how to put it in words. My family’s business is facing great difficulties, and my family might face a major financial crisis. But I believe there is always a way when there is a will. Besides, if God bring you to it, He will bring you through it. Amen. Sometimes when I go home, I don’t feel welcomed. I felt no love at home. Where is it? Where is the love? Life at home can be very, very hectic. When things are getting messed up out there, people want to go home to get peace. But when my life is twisted around out here, I don’t want to go home to make it worse. I could be at home, but my heart is just not there. Felt so discouraged with myself. But, nevertheless, I still want to thank God, for I have a home to go back. My bunny, little eLvi, my bolster (har har), sorry Lord because I whined. Oh, and my new nephew is on the way, coming very, very soon in October. Another eLvi, just great. Back in UMS, sometimes I felt like a stranger among my course mates. My imperfectness just makes me couldn’t click with my friends, which sometimes make me feel, no sense of belonging. But certain people just don’t get it. For my problem, might not be a problem for them. What is important for me, might not be important for them. Why? I do not understand. My situations are often self-conflicting. Killer disease with no cure.

But I want to live a happy life. I want to live my life to the fullest. That is why I am committing everything into the hands of God for He will never leave me alone in this journey. Though the sun from sadness will not shine at all, but the cloud from happiness shall not shed a tear.